The Treasures of Tandil

If you worked at a grocery store and a moron walked up to you holding laundry detergent  and said "I no no speak me like. Is this...uhhhhh?" then the moron rubbed the box on his clothes and nodded- would you help him or get him to wash his clothes with toothpaste?

If you were a waiter and you went over the specials to a moron and his moron wife and they smiled and replied "yes" to several choices, then you trick the morons to make a decision and they reduce your menu to pointing at their mouths and saying. "fish. Meat. Beer" and then after the meal dump a pile of bills on the table and let you sort through them for what you need- would you help them or rob them? Poison them?

Luckily the kind people of Tandil helped us with smiles. Even in this smaller city (about 100,000 people) everyone is gorgeous, so you can spot me at a 1/4 mile. 

The bus from Buenos Aires was unexpectedly pleasant.  You can almost lie down totally flat, which is good because the bus ride was about 5.5 hours to Tandil; on the way to Patagonia. Before the bus I went and saw a cemetery of tombs and took some asshole arty pictures.  I decided that I would like to be buried in a tomb and all my living relatives should handle the painstaking upkeep instead of moving on with their lives. 

Tandil! What a pretty town. Quiet. Good food. a nice change of pace. BA is the loudest town I have ever tried to sleep in. 

The first night we found our amazing hostel (seriously amazing) and got a private room and went for dinner. We ate a nice meal (fish  meat  beer)  Walking back we saw a small packed music venue where some high school kids were playing jazz. They were really good and everyone was drinking Quilmes and cheering and clapping. A monsoon started as we walked home. All a good time. Katie tried to buy an umbrella and realized too late she kept asking people if we could purchase a "question water" 

Then next morning we met a British couple that quit they're jobs and were traveling around South America for a year. They were nice but didn't really like us and avoided us as much as possible. I will take that out on the next Limey I meet. 

We hiked up a small mountain that overlooked the town and had some kind of half assed castle on top of it. The whole way we were followed by one of the many sweet and pretty stray dogs of the town. They really are nice dogs and there's one in every doorway sleeping. 

We then walked over to a lake full of people boating and swimming and having great times. When we got to it a sign said it was private. Booo

Tandil is famous for a Salami and cheese joint called Epoca de Quesos, so we went there. It's the oldest standing building in the town. Ordering dinner was it's usual fiasco of communication so we asked for "the most popular good good thank you" and got a great bottle of Malbec and a little slab of wood covered in what had to be 4 lbs of cured meats and cheeses. We didn't finish it so the waitress put it in a paper bag that is now a grease soaked disaster that I am eating on the bus. Amazing. 

After a heart hug dinner like that the best thing to do is to throw a scotch on it. So we went to a little bar and had one and started to chat with a nice local man who also liked scotch. 

What followed is what you would expect. Luckily I took about 500 pictures so I can piece together this evening for you.  

The local man's english was not great, our Spanish is shit; So there was a lot of talk about language and excitement over successful communication. 

Here are the bullet points for the rest:

-Taking with hands

-Exchanging favorite authors

-Besos - these are little kisses on the cheek that I really never see too much here. 

-Photoshoot with a malaise 23 yr old bartender that doesn't look too into it

-Talking with hands escalate to full on nonsense charades

-Exchanging of favorite musicians

-Exchanging of how to tell people to fuck off in our native tongues

-travel advice

-General agreement that the bartender was a beautiful human being 

-Gifts- each more special than the last

THE FIRST GIFT was a pack of the local man's cigarettes because mine were bullshit he said. Then we smoked in the bathroom because he said we should. I shrugged and went along with it.  Jr High all over again. 

THE SECOND GIFT was a gross sweet cake thing in a gold foil wrapper. He forced Katie and I to eat it in front of him because at that time it was of grave importance. We lied and said it was delicious all 49 times he asked. Another cake was forced into Katie's purse. 

THE THIRD GIFT was very important to our new friend. It took him a long time to even decide if he wanted to give it to me, even longer to explain how much I should care to be this lucky.  He gave it to me and I remember lots of hugging, serious advice and a solid handshake.   I put the treasure in my pocket for safe keeping. I told our new Freindo the pocket had a zipper, so the treasure could not be lost or stolen by thieves. He inspected the pocket and agreed. 

He offered us a ride home in his truck he said he was allowed to drive drunk because his buddy was Chief of Police. then he said we were allowed to live on his farm forever. 

We declined both and went to bed. 

The next morning in my pockets were notes of misspelled author's names.  Our friend's name (Horacio) and email. A note from the bartender asking for copies of the pictures we took and to be facebook friends. (of course) and The Prized Gift. 

When I held the gift up the morning light danced off it magically. I would cherish it always and one day pass it on to another friend in a faraway land. It meant so much that night and hopefully would on another. 

It was a .25 cent coca cola bottle opener.