Iron Pan

Ever since I saw the myspace page for Snakes on a Train I think about how that movie got off the ground. I bet it was something like, "let's do that shit" Which is how I feel everything should go. And if the idea is good the person you're talking to should say, "Seriously? Somebody is gonna pay for that?"

That brings me to Iron Pan. Well, almost.

Mark Wynns had posted something about mockbusters that he read in the NY Times and I got to thinking about 'ol Snakes on a Train again and laughing. I think I read that and the next day Tony Holley and I were driving from Houston to Austin and I was on only a couple of hours sleep so I was idiot o'clock and I bounced around and ranted and we come up with Iron Pan.

In May Iron Man will be released. Will it be good? I doubt it but you never know, maybe someone won't fuck up a huge budget superhero movie. (yeah and maybe Pimento Cheese will taste good) so first watch the Iron Man trailer.

Now let me give you the pitch on Iron Pan. (I really should just be making this instead of blogging it but its 4:30am and I can't sleep so you get the chance to steal it from me)
it is about a cocky, alcoholic Iron Chef type guy. Well, he's a big shot and then some terrorists snatch him up and try to force him to make a dessert to kill the President. But he doesn't. He makes a frying pan. that's it, it is just a regular iron skillet. It looks like a regular skillet. He bonks people on the head with it, fights Mongols and ninjas and vikings, blocks bullets and all kinds of other dumber, dumb ass shit. But it's just a drunk with a pan. I'm just gonna shoot a trailer because really, I'm gonna need someone to shell out some cash to jam out a retarded feature about a drunk chef with a pan that has an adventure.

But if you saw that Iron Man trailer, Iron Pan could rock ass for about 124 seconds as a trailer. If you wanna help me get this monkey on a stick, gather up some funny shit and some ninja outfits and let's go.
A horse would be good too- for the Mongols. Just imagine someone saying the line, "I AM IRON PAN!" over and over and over and over