Jodie Foster, you little bitch

So this bitch Jodie Foster somehow got into my computer and read a script I wrote for a short film and made it into THE BRAVE ONE. If I told that fucker once, I told her a thousand times.

Well since I've heard that her film is a big 'ol shit sandwich and mine would have ruled- I have decided to post the script here for you to read. Please reply with you feedback- positive and negative. I especially enjoy it when someone really rips into something I write. You can't get better at anything without criticism.

here it is. It is called MY BOYFRIEND IS RETARD between myself and a couple people. I'm not sure that the title s really that good but you be the judge.



Black Title Card

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

INT. POOL BAR DAY
The bar is almost empty being that it is noon. A MEXICAN YOUTH is playing pool in the corner of the bar with a slim young man in a white T-shirt and jeans. The young man quickly moves around the table as he sinks ball after ball. He is a pretty nice looking guy for a pool hustler, well kept- not a slimy dirtbag. This is MIKEY.

MIKEY
In the corner.

MIKEY sinks the eight ball, grins at his opponent and shrugs. The Mexican youth take two hundred dollar bills from his pocket and gives them to Mikey. Mikey puts the money in his pocket and looks over into the corner where an attractive young woman sits reading a book and drinking a colorful cocktail. She has long brown hair and glasses. She is long, slender and not likely to be kicked out of bed by any sane man. She looks like a librarian in some graphic designer's wet dream This is FEMALE LEAD.

MIKEY (CONT'D)
I won.

FEMALE LEAD
Good. Are we leaving, Mikey? I'm hungry.

MIKEY
I think. I'll see if he'll play one more.
Then we can go and eat.

Female Lead looks up from her book and raises an eyebrow. Behind Mikey the Mexican Youth breaks the fat end of a pool cue over Mikey's head.

CUT TO:

BLACK CARD
2 YEARS LATER


INT. SMALL APARTMENT LIVING ROOM DAY
Female Lead washes dishes. The sounds of a TV game show can be heard in the background. She looks over her shoulder to MIKEY who sits in front of the TV looking at the floor. He is slumped in a chair and rocks slightly back and forth. His eyes have dark circles under them and his skin is very pale. He is basically a vegetable.

INT. BATHROOM DAY
Female lead undresses Mikey while bath water is heard running in the background. Mikey wears an adult diaper. Female lead takes off the diaper to bath him.

INT. BATHROOM DAY
Female Lead shaves Mikey's face and combs his hair. She speaks to him like a child and says his name softly.

INT. SMALL APARTMENT LIVING ROOM DAY
Female Lead reads a book and eats while Mikey continues to watch television.

INT. SMALL APARTMENT DAY
Female Lead changes Mikey's Diaper. He has shit himself like an infant.

INT. PAWN SHOP DAY
Female lead looks at the firearms in the pawn shop. She picks out two pistols and a large shotgun. The firearms are shown to her by a large man with a pony tail wearing a Motorhead T-shirt and carrying a hand-cannon on his waist- a .357 Or something. He is the PAWN BROKER and he is greasy, the kind of guy you expect to be hustling pool.
She purchases the guns and ammunition. The pawn broker makes a racist comment or joke. The Female Lead doesn't respond.

EXT. JUNKYARD DAY
Female lead loads the pistol and tries to shoot a bottle from about 20 yards away. She misses and walks very close to the bottle and shoots it. She then loads the shotgun with some difficulty and fires it at a car. The windshield explodes.

INT. BATHROOM DAY
Female lead looks through the medicine cabinet and removes a few prescription pill bottles.


INT. KITCHEN DAY
Female Lead is crying. She takes the pills from the bottles and places them in a blender that sits on the counter. She puts two scoops of ice cream into the blender and a small amount of milk. She blends the contents of the blender and pours the milkshake into a glass.

INT. SMALL APARTMENT LIVING ROOM DAY
Female lead pets Mikey's head and feeds him the milkshake. She cries as Mikey drinks the shake down from one of his over sized sippy cups with his name on it.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:
INT. CAR DAY
Female lead drives into a gas station. The station is filled with day laborers. Female Lead exits the car and speaks to one of the men in Spanish. All this is Spanish and someone will need to translate it because I don't speak Spanish for shit.

FEMALE LEAD
I need two men to help me.
Simple work, digging. How much?

MAN 1
50 dollars per day

FEMALE LEAD
For both?

MAN 1
No. 50 each.

FEMALE LEAD
Ok. get in.


INT. CAR DAY
Female Lead and the two Mexican men ride in the car. They go down a dirt road. Female lead stops the car.

FEMALE LEAD
Ok, we're here.

Female Lead and the two men exit the car. Female lead goes to her trunk. She removes the shotgun and shoots Man 1 at very close range. It is messy and sudden, there is no stylized manner about the violence. The nonchalant way it happens and is repulsive. Man 2 runs through the woods to get away. Female lead fires at him but he is too far away and escapes. Female Lead jumps into her small truck.


EXT. WOODS DAY
Man 2 runs through the woods.

INT. CAR DAY
Female lead drives quickly down the dirt road.

EXT ROAD DAY
Man 2 runs out to the paved road and tries to flag down a car for help. No one stops for him. Female lead's car comes around the corner. Female Lead spots him and runs him over. She stops the car, takes the pistol from her glovebox and exits the car. Man 2 looks bad, getting hit by a car doesn't agree with him. Female lead shoots him in the head. Her face doesn't register insanity or rage and she doesn't have the satisfaction of a person who has exacted revenge.

INT. SMALL APARTMENT LIVING ROOM DAY
Female lead comes home. She sees Mikey in the chair. Mikey is dead.

INT. BATHROOM DAY
Female lead is bathing Mikey

INT. BEDROOM DAY
Female lead has Mikey dressed on the bed. She curls up next to his body and closes her eyes.

FADE OUT.


EXT. DAY GAS STATION
Female Lead is at a gas station picking up two more day laborers. One has a red hat the other is short and fat.

INT. CAR DAY
Female lead drives her car with two different day laborers as passengers. Both are young and fit and are sipping water from the cooler in the back of the truck.

EXT. WOODS DAY
Female lead gets out of a pickup truck with a shotgun and six Mexicans start to get out of the back. She speaks in Spanish.

FEMALE LEAD
Hold on, hold on.

Female lead fires into the truck shooting the Mexican men. One gets away and runs into the woods. Female lead watches him run and decides not to give chase.

INT. BEDROOM DAY
Female Lead trims the fingernails of Mikey.

INT. MEXICAN APARTMENT - DAY
The fellow who just ran away from the Female lead sits at his small kitchen table with a woman holding a baby. They look at each other for a moment. The woman has been crying. They speak in Spanish.

MEXICAN WOMAN
What will you do?

MEXICAN MAN
Nothing.

INT. MEXICAN RESTAURANT DAY
Female Lead sits and eats a taco. Salsa music plays in the background while two Mexican children laugh and giggle with their parents. Female Lead gets up from her table and walks past the other white patrons to the register. Female Lead pays her check at the counter and an average white suburban girl gives her change.

COUNTER GIRL
Thank you for coming to Mexico
Fantastico. Have a great day.

A tall man in a suit appears with a newspaper under his arm. This is COWORKER.

COWORKER
Hey there, eating some lunch?

FEMALE LEAD
Yeah, eating some tacos.

COWORKER
OK OK. What have you been up to?

FEMALE LEAD
Oh, about 5'11'' 125 pounds.

COWORKER
Huh?

COUNTER GIRL
Ha, ha . That's funny.

FEMALE LEAD
Thanks. (TO COWORKER) I gotta run.

COWORKER
OK, I'll see you around.

INT. OFFICE - DAY
Female lead sits at her desk typing and doing work shit. A man walks up to her desk. We do not see his face or any part of him really. We only see Female Lead.

COURIER
Excuse me, Miss Young?

FEMALE LEAD
Yes?

The man hold out a package. The Female lead stares at his Courier Company name tag that reads M. GLASS

COURIER
I just need you to-

FEMALE LEAD
What does the M stand for?

COURIER
Michael.

FEMALE LEAD
Oh, really? Do people ever call you Mikey?

COURIER
Some people call me Mikey.

FEMALE LEAD
My boyfriend's name is Mikey.

COURIER
Oh. That's nice. If you could just sign right there.

Female lead signs for the package and places it on her desk. The courier exits and she continues working. After some time passes and she does something mundane- the credits roll.



Well Jodie, if you would have asked me nicely I would have just written you a different script. You don't get to play this part. I don;t think you;re cut out for it. You were once, but things have changed, Jodie. Oh my, how they've changed.

couple more things. I saw Rebel Without a Cause on the big screen. Awesome. I saw Eastern Promises. Forgettable, except the asshole-naked fight scene. That was great- watch this fat guy get punched in the gut. This was shot on some job I was on